The election is upon us and so is anxiety. As we await results and anticipate reactions, we fear that our country, our communities, and our congregations may unravel.
People often behave badly when captured by anxiety. Leaders react to bad behavior in one of two unhelpful ways: over-control and withdrawal. We focus our energy on the people behaving badly, only to discover that we have no control over them. Or we ignore bad behavior, to our own peril and the organization’s detriment. These are the extremes—but there is a middle way.
Leaders must hold steady in the face of anxiety. We do this by pausing to observe and interpret so that we can intervene effectively.
Observe
As people grow anxious, they become more irritable, worrisome, and fearful. Some will withdraw, avoiding group situations like worship and church meetings. Some may seek you out individually for reassurance. Some will second-guess you. Some will become aggressive and challenging, externalizing their anxiety by attacking you or others.
Treat these erratic behaviors as data. Behavioral choices can teach you something about how individuals, groups and the community are moving through the season.
Resist the impulse to take personally any attacks made against you, your congregation, or your leaders. Take a step back and observe bad behavior with curiosity, from a stance of wonder. “What is this person fearful of? What are they trying to control with this behavior? What or who are they protecting?”
Demonstrate active listening. Ask people to talk about their hopes, fears, and values. Invite them to express their needs instead of their positions. When people become overly simplistic or talk in absolutes, ask them to explore the nuances of their own positions and the positions of others.
Stay present, keep listening, and use silence and prayer as appropriate.
When words get in the way of mutual understanding, invite people into silence—to observe their own reactions, connect with their higher selves, and locate divine presence amid the anxiety.
Resist your own impulse to withdraw or flee. Don’t be drawn into nostalgia about simpler times or entertain dramatic projections about how awful the future looks. Invite others to focus on the strengths, connections and resources available to them right now.
Interpret
Interpret what you have observed. Look at how groups in the congregation react. Notice their interests and how they are protecting those interests. Who are the idea champions? How are others responding to those ideas? Who are the lightning rods that are bearing the brunt of everyone else’s anxiety? Are groups drawing in bystanders? What are the healthiest people in the congregation doing right now and how are they responding to those behaving badly?
Examine value differences being expressed. Which values are in direct conflict with one another, and which can be mutually satisfied? Who has the most to gain or lose right now? Around what? What kind of compromises or collaboration might be possible?
Assess the power base of people trying to influence or coerce others. People are granted authority by virtue of the position they hold. They gain power from access to information and the times and places where decision are made. Some tap into power more informally based on their expertise, personal connections, or charisma.
Analyze the power structure of the system you are in. By understanding the source of others’ power—and your own—you can choose appropriate responses to behavior. If your power base is stronger than theirs, you can confront them directly. If their power base is stronger than yours, you will need to consider who else to draw in to help you address the behavior. If they have a weak power base you may be able to overlook their behavioral choices, simply because no one else is paying attention.
Finally, assess the ability of individuals or groups to learn and adapt. Are people staying engaged and testing their own values and assumptions with one another? Are they choosing functional ways of dealing with differences? Are they playing fair?
Simply observing and interpreting may be enough to diffuse anxiety. You may also invite people to think and to act from their higher, shared values.
Intervene
Sometimes observing and interpreting are not enough. Dysfunctional behavior escalates and a firmer intervention is required.
If you haven’t already done so, address the one(s) behaving badly. Describe when and where the bad behavior occurred, the specific behaviors used, and the impact that those behaviors had on you or others. Then go on to describe what a more appropriate response would be. Invite more appropriate behavior in the future.
If the individual or group continues to make bad behavioral choices, disengage and redirect your attention. It is helpful to remember that you can’t control the behavior of people who are unwilling or unable to play fair. As much as possible, redirect your attention to healthier people in your organization.
Look for the disengaged, healthy bystanders. In the face of unchecked bad behavior, healthy people will often withdraw, leaving a vacuum for unhealthy players to step in. Turn your attention to those who have the ability and willingness to choose healthy responses. Engage them in claiming their power and managing the anxiety with you. Teach them what a healthy response to bad behavior looks like. Seek ways to increase the power of healthy players.
Whatever the outcome of this election, you and your congregation do not have to be captured by the anxiety surrounding it. You can address the anxiety and redirect unhelpful behaviors that emerge. Respond with resilience and you will soon pivot collective attention back to your shared mission, vision and values.
Susan Beaumont is a coach, educator, and consultant who has worked with hundreds of faith communities across the United States and Canada. Susan is known for working at the intersection of organizational health and spiritual vitality. She specializes in large church dynamics, staff team health, board development, and leadership during seasons of transition.
With both an M.B.A. and an M.Div., Susan blends business acumen with spiritual practice. She moves naturally between decision-making and discernment, connecting the soul of the leader with the soul of the institution. You can read more about her ministry at susanbeaumont.com.
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