The Congregational Consulting Group, organized in 2014 by former consultants of the Alban Institute, is a network of independent consultants. We publish PERSPECTIVES for Congregational Leaders—thoughts on topics of interest to leaders of congregations and other purpose-driven organizations. — Dan Hotchkiss, editor
While many people seek out like-minded gatherings to avoid conflict, my experience as a consultant over the last 14 years tells me there is a large marketplace of people who prefer gatherings of people with diverse viewpoints who can discuss issues without screaming at each other. By creating diverse congregations, we have an opportunity to lead society out of its current polarized condition, rather than reflecting it ourselves.
The election is upon us and so is anxiety. As we await results and anticipate reactions, we fear that our country, our communities, and our congregations may unravel.
People often behave badly when captured by anxiety. Leaders react to bad behavior in one of two unhelpful ways: over-control and withdrawal. We focus our energy on the people behaving badly, only to discover that we have no control over them. Or we ignore bad behavior, to our own peril and the organization’s detriment. These are the extremes—but there is a middle way.
Leaders must hold steady in the face of anxiety. We do this by pausing to observe and interpret so that we can intervene effectively.
This presidential election year reminds us, once again, how deeply polarized we are as a nation. The faithful on both extremes of the political spectrum live in separate echo chambers, fueled by social media and the news channels they choose to watch. I am also susceptible to this phenomenon!
A key factor that sustains and deepens polarization is a lack of listening. Listening to build connections is challenging when some folks are closed off and opposed to taking in new information. I know that some of you are thinking that this is an obvious statement. We all know that when folks listen well, it improves relationships and can heal interpersonal breakdowns, but what sounds simple is really quite difficult.
Most boards know they shouldn’t micromanage. Meddling boards irritate their staff and volunteers and stifle creativity. Boards lack the day-to-day involvement a good manager should have. Most board members know that, but still when people bring us questions, we give answers. We just can’t resist!
In the life of every congregation, problems will eventually surface. Such challenges may involve disagreements and conflict, genuine harm, or more serious allegations of misconduct. Pairing the process with the problem requires discernment about the nature of the problem, as well as a suite of relevant processes. An effective response may also require the involvement of the local judicatory and/or outside mediation or consultation.
Congregations often experience conflict in response to social movements in the world around them. Since World War II, movements regarding civil rights, the war in Vietnam, the ordination of women, and human sexuality—each vitally important in its own right—also have raised challenges inside congregations, forcing leaders to address internal questions of power and culture.
Eighteen years ago, I surveyed 100 congregations in the American southwest regarding their experience of change and conflict in the previous five years. Only one change was negatively associated with conflict—meaning that it made conflict less likely. Congregations that started a “new community outreach” in the previous five years were less likely to report a significant conflict than similar congregations that did not.
