Taking Time to Get from Here to There
In a time when polarized opinions are rampant and vigorously defended on social and other media, we need to intentionally invite each other to show up at congregational meetings with more than our opinions.
conflict
Want Less Conflict? Look Out the Window!
Congregations that started a “new community outreach” in the previous five years were much less likely to report a significant conflict than similar congregations that did not.
Tolerating Bad Behavior in the Church
This morning as I was driving to one of the churches in my district I listened to the radio to get caught up on the news. It was all about President Trump’s tweets regarding the NFL and the National Anthem, escalating tensions with North Korea, and the impact of the latest hurricane on Puerto Rico. I couldn’t help but think about how the intense divisiveness in our country right now impacts congregations. I wonder if we have become too tolerant of bad behavior.
Why We Fight
Why is conflict so common in congregations? When we ask people what they are fighting about, the responses focus on the usual suspects—members’ behavior, money, worship, leadership style, and decision-making. But are these really the deepest causes of congregational conflict?
Rules for Not Being a Jerk
Most congregations have at least one jerk. You know who I mean—the one who takes up far more than one person’s share of time and energy and leaves the group feeling discouraged, disempowered, and exhausted. How can you be sure it isn’t you?
How to Avoid Fighting About Stupid Things
Anxious people fight about stupid things. I learned this years ago, mostly from congregations. But I was reminded of it recently by a close encounter with party politics during the most recent election cycle, so I thought I would share a political example and prescribe a solution that almost always works to avoid fights in …
“Talk Amongst Yourselves”
“I’m a little verklempt.” When hot topics come up in congregations, we know we ought to have a conversation. But instead, like Linda Richman, Mike Myers’s character on Saturday Night Live, we get all “verklempt” and change the subject. Throwing out a random topic, in effect we say, “Talk amongst yourselves.”